OTTUMWA — Everyone has been affected by domestic violence, directly or indirectly, said Steve Harris, Ottumwa Police Department’s lead investigator in the murder of Anessa Pherigo two years ago.

In the words of a “treasured friend,” Gail Pherigo, Anessa’s aunt, said the past two years have brought about “pain, strength, faith, anger — and most of all, love.”

“You’d be amazed how many people will help if you just ask,” Harris said.

Wednesday night, around 200 to 250 people gathered outside Anessa’s home in the 400 block of South Schuyler Street to honor her memory and to bring awareness to domestic violence.

On the evening of June 27, 2010, police were called to Anessa’s home, where they found Anessa, 40, who was pronounced dead at the scene.

Her husband, Christopher Johnson, 33, was captured after a brief chase on U.S. Highway 34 near Burlington that night.

On May 6, 2011, Johnson was found guilty of first-degree murder in the stabbing death of his wife, and on June 27, 2011, exactly one year after the murder, he was sentenced to life in prison.

Pherigo’s family held the first Domestic Violence Awareness Walk last night, exactly two years after the death of Anessa at the hands of her husband.

Throngs of people clad in white shirts with the message “If you knew ... What would you say? What would you do?” on the front and “Love shouldn’t hurt!” on the back walked up Mary Street to Shaul Cemetery, Anessa’s final resting place.

Crystal Hopkins, Anessa’s cousin, said Wednesday was a very emotional day  due to the significance of the date.

“I would have been happy if 50 people turned out,” Hopkins said. “But more than 200 turned out.”

Harris got choked up when he spoke to the crowd.

“We need to lend our support to Anessa’s family,” Harris said. “It’s been a difficult two years, and they will continue to have a difficult time.”

Harris said the Pherigo family showed a strong sense of patience during a chaotic time and have always carried themselves with poise and grace.

Last year, Harris said his aunt was shot and killed by her daughter’s ex-husband.

Domestic violence and homicides are in the news all the time, Harris said, but at that point, it’s too late for the victims.

“The damage has been done,” he said. “No matter how many hours we put in, we can’t bring your loved ones back. We can’t bring Anessa back.”

Prevention is key, he said, not reaction. Children need to be educated about domestic violence and learn that it’s not OK  for men to hit women and vice versa.

“Unfortunately domestic violence rarely goes away,” he said. “It’s a progressive thing.”

And if not for herself, the victim of domestic violence should do it for her children, he said.

“It’s terrifying for kids to watch this,” he said. “After years and years of it, they become numb.”

Cheryl Brown, executive director of the Crisis Center, said in the last several years there have been several domestic homicides in southeast Iowa.

“Whether the numbers of domestic abuse have increased, that’s really difficult to tell,” Brown said. “But I do believe people are facing a greater degree of violence.”

One factor that feeds into this increase, Brown said, is high unemployment.

“Because the unemployment rate is so high, and has been historically in our area, that gives the batterer more hours of access to the victim,” Brown said. “If they’re in contact more, there’s more opportunity for violence. And typically, in many cases, the violence escalates over time.”

One of the biggest problems with addressing domestic abuse, she said, is that society tends to blame the woman for not getting out of the relationship.

“The question really begins for me at, ‘Why does he abuse her? Why does he feel he has the right to do that?’” Brown said.

Around 75 percent of domestic homicides happen when the relationship is ending, she said.

“It’s kind of counter-intuitive to what the average person thinks,” she said. “Often women are trying to make arrangements to leave safely. Most leave several times before they stay gone.”

Megan Bix said her earliest childhood memories are of watching her mother getting beat up by boyfriends and seeing her brothers get hurt in the process.

“The things I remember most are going to the hospital and lying about the cut across my forehead or calling the police ... about my stepdad,” Bix said.

She swore she would never be like her mom, Bix said. But as a teenager, Bix started dating men who were verbally abusive.

“I thought, ‘He’s not hitting me, so he’s not abusing me,’” Bix said.

Recently, Bix separated from her husband after her 5-year-old looked up at her and said, “I don’t like him ‘cause he makes you sad and it scares me.”

She finally got out of the relationship, for herself and for her kids.

“I’m a survivor instead of a victim,” Bix said.

After she spoke and the crowd began to walk to the cemetery, a stranger came up to Bix.

“I don’t know you, but your story touched me,” he said, and hugged her.



Resources for victims of domestic abuse:

Crisis Center Executive Director Cheryl Brown said if you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, help is available. You can call the Crisis Center at 641-683-3122 or 1-800-464-8340.

“It’s also important to not isolate the person,” Brown said. “Continue to support the person even when you’re frustrated, even when you don’t understand why they’re in that situation. The more they’re isolated, the more chance that violence is going to escalate.”

The Crisis Center covers six counties, including Appanoose, Davis, Jefferson, Monroe, Wapello and Wayne.