OTTUMWA —
When the loss of a loved one changes your life, the only ones who understand are those who have been through the same experience.
The GriefShare seminar and support group brings those understanding people together to share, rebuild and learn how to cope with grief through faith.
GriefShare is a nondenominational support group sponsored by Living Hope Bible Church in Eldon and Hospice of Davis and Wapello counties. It is designed for anyone who has experienced a loss and is ready to move from mourning to joy again.
“We don’t sit around and encourage people to be sad and cry. We want them to learn how to laugh again,” said Terri Bergman, one of the facilitators of the support group and a member of Living Hope Bible Church. “This week, for example, we’ve asked them to bring a story of a happy moment they remember with their loved one. Right now they’re sad, but we want them to see that life is a wonderful place in God’s presence.”
Monday night was the second of 13 weekly seminars, which are held at Hospice in Ottumwa. Each session is independent of the others, so anyone can join the group at any time and attend as many as they like.
The evening begins with prayer, then is opened up to a group discussion.
“But no one has to talk. They won’t be put on the spot,” Bergman said.
There is then a 30-40 minute video featuring interviews with leading authors, counselors, speakers and pastors with expertise in grief recovery. The time ends with small-group discussion and ends with prayer.
Pastor Mel Kendall, a volunteer Hospice chaplain who has been with the GriefShare support group since it began, says that there is one main message they want people to walk away with after a GriefShare session.
“There’s hope. It’s not the end of their life because the life of their loved one has ended,” he said. “There is healing, but it may take some time.”
The Ottumwa GriefShare support group began in 2009 through an interest by Living Hope Bible Church in Eldon to be a help to the community. Bergman’s pastor, Dave Alberts, knew she was an office manager at Hospice, and he asked her to find a bereavement program the church could offer the community. Bergman found GriefShare.
“We prayed about it, because we would have to be completely dedicated to it. It’s a 13-week program,” she said. “We wanted to make sure we could be there for the people when they needed us.”
Instead of having everyone interested drive to Eldon, Bergman approached Hospice about using its facility. Hospice not only agreed to provide a location to meet, but it helps supply workbooks for the seminars.
During its first year, they were so excited about GriefShare that they went through the program three times. There were only three people attending then, but now there can be up to 16 people in each session.
“We’ve had really good success teaching people how to deal with grief,” Bergman explained. “You don’t get over it; you just learn how to deal with it.”
One of the stigmas of grief is that everyone grieves in the same way or in the same amount of time.
“People expect to get over grief quickly. They take three days off work and then they should be fine again. That’s not how it works,” she explained. “It means a whole new life, a new lifestyle. The future you planned ... nothing’s the same.”
Support groups and talking with people who have experienced similar types of loss show how personal grief truly is.
“Grief is personal. You can’t base your grief on how someone else grieves. Grief is unique,” Kendall said.
The GriefShare support group will run through November, ending right before the holidays. Bergman says this will be one of the hardest times of year for those going through a loss.
On Nov. 12, GriefShare will host Seasons of Grief, a one-night session specifically about dealing with grief during the holidays.
“Even if their loved one has been gone for a while and they’re doing OK in their everyday life, the holidays are a whole different aspect,” she said.
By the time each session ends, Bergman says GriefShare has just as much of an impact on those leading the group as those who are attending.
“It’s been very rewarding. We feel like we’ve made a difference in lives, and that makes a difference in your own life,” she said. “Every time we talk about maybe not doing it this time, the Lord puts it right back in our lap.”
GriefShare seminar and support group
Mondays from 6-8 p.m. until Nov. 11
Registration begins at 5:45 p.m.
Hospice of Davis and Wapello counties
927 E. Pennsylvania Ave., Ottumwa
There is no charge.
For more information, call 641-682-0684.
Local News
August 28, 2012
Coping with grief through faith
GriefShare offers understanding, support and information
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